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Want to be a flower? You gotta be a seed

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For my money, Roth isthe greatest frontman in the history of Rock and Roll (I didn’t say “singer” — there’s a huge difference, so don’t even start).  He’s also come up with more than his share of keen insights over the years.  This one has always stuck with me since I heard him say it back in 1986.

In Business: 

It’s exciting to come up with an idea you just know will be “the next big thing.”  But any idea that’s going to work on a big scale will almost always succeed on a small scale first.

I’ve seen people invest their life savings and even take a second mortgage out on their house in order to open up a restaurant.  They knew it was a sure thing, since all their friends loved their unique recipes.  It wasn’t. 

Better to be a seed first.  They could have started a small catering business, just to see if there really was a demand for their special dishes recipes.  Then, once they built up a following, they could have used the profits from the catering business as seed money (no pun intended) for the restaurant.  Only then would it be flower-time.

Unfortunately, I’m not immune to thinking too big, too fast either.  When I had my direct marketing business, I’d have a product idea, then get a few dozen prototypes made to test the market.  After the test was successful, I’d ramp up to 5,000 units.

After a few successes, I thought I had it all figured out.  On my next project, I said to myself, “I don’t need to bother with prototypes.  I know this thing is a winner.  Look how much we’ll save if we get 10,000 units made right from the start.”

You guessed it — it was a total flop!  I wound up eating about 9,996 of those units after they sat in my garage for a few years.

I should’ve listened to Diamond Dave.

In Life: 

I want it, and I want it now!  Not only do I want instant gratification, I want immediate recognition, too. I want to be the best, and I want the world to know it right away.

For most meaningful things in life, there are no shortcuts.  You simply must put in the time and effort.

There was a movie called Rat Race several years ago in which two guys in a truck were trying to beat the other characters to some location, and one says, “I know a shortcut!”

The driver says, “No!  Shortcuts are dangerous.  If they weren’t, it would just be called ‘the way.’”

A slow and steady pace in the right direction is far better than speeding down the wrong road, then another, then another.

To get faster, more efficient results in any aspect of your life, abandon the idea that you’re not going to have to do any work to get there, and embrace the idea that learning from both the mistakes and successes of others will vastly accelerate your progress.

So remember…

Want to be a flower? You gotta be a seed.

— David Lee Roth

Seeing through the game is not the same as winning the game.

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The book, North Dallas Forty, was made into a movie in the seventies starring Nick Nolte and Mac Davis.  Lots of great character actors in there, too, like Dabney Coleman and G. D. Spradlin (who you might also know as the Senator who tries to extort Michael in The Godfather: Part II).

In Business:

Have you ever been amazed by a magic trick?  Then, when you find out how it’s done, you can’t believe anybody would ever fall for it. 

It’s the same in business.  Think about the first place you worked when you were in high school — let’s say it was a burger place:

In the beginning, you think, “This place is great!  The burgers are ‘rad’ (we’re living in the eighties in this example).  It would be so cool to work here!”

Then, you get the job and discover the handful of simple ingredients and no-brainer system they use to make the burgers.  “Wow — that’s all there is to it?” you ask, a little disappointed now that you’ve peeked behind the curtain.

After a short time, you adopt “the attitude.”  You can’t believe what fools people are to walk in here and plunk down $5 for a bun with a meat patty and some veggies on it.  Now you know better.  You’re enlightened, aren’t you?

You’ve officially “seen through the game.”  But you sure haven’t won the game, have you?  You’re actually heading in the wrong direction.  Your newly adopted attitude keeps you from winning.

In business, the name of the game is “customer experience.”  People aren’t just paying for a product; they’re paying for an experience.

The magician is well aware of how the trick is done.  After all, he’s preformed it a thousand times and, right now, he’s got a bird squirming in his pocket.  The true magic is in the experience he creates for his audience.

A great magician’s act, routine, shtick (all another word for “system,” by the way) is simply his ability to repeatedly deliver a spectacular experience to his customers at will.

That’s what a great business does, too.

In Life:

 What does a “win” look like when you’re dealing with people on a personal level?

Sometimes it’s easier to start with what a win doesn’t look like.

A win is not, “I proved I’m right and they are wrong.”

A win is not, “I’ll agree to it, but I’ll make sure they know I’m not having a good time.”

A win is not, “I’ll be critical, and if anybody calls me on it I’ll claim I was joking and turn it around by accusing them of being uptight and unable to take a joke.”

To me, a win with people is similar to what Jerry Seinfeld used to say when he’d do The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  “When you go on Carson, you’re main goal is to get asked back.”

So how do you get asked back by the people in your life?  Be pleasant and remember my golden rule of interaction: “It’s not about you.  It’s about how they feel about themselves when they’re around you.”

So remember…

Seeing through the game is not the same as winning the game.

— “Conrad Hunter” (from North Dallas Forty)

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

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Mr. Ziglar was truly one of the greats.  Even after his passing, I think this man continues to touch more lives and help more people in a day than most of us do in a lifetime.

In Business:

First, it’s about knowing your customer.  Smart businesses now create a “customer avatar,” which is a fictitious person that embodies all the qualities of their ideal buyer. 

Assign them a name, age, income level, hobbies, likes, dislikes — all the demographic and psychographic details.  Once you have that, you can go about discovering their wants and designing products to satisfy them.

Second, you’ll notice Mr. Ziglar said to help people get “what they want” and not “what they need.”  This is an important distinction.

Selling to “wants” is always preferable to selling to “needs.”  It could make or break your business.

Let’s say you were walking around a mall and you saw the vast majority of people were overweight.  You might say, “What this place needs is a weight-loss clinic.”

You may, in fact, be right.  But what they want is a really good ice cream shop.

In Life:

What do people want, in general, when they’re around you?  Let’s get one thing out of the way immediately: it really doesn’t involve you at all.

At the risk of sounding harsh, people couldn’t care less about you.  What they really care about is how they feel about themselves when they’re around you.

That doesn’t mean you should go around offering a bunch of insincere compliments, like Eddie Haskel on Leave It to Beaver. 

What it usually means is treating people with respect, being engaging, and being a good listener.  They want to feel like their opinions actually matter to you. 

Hopefully, their opinions do matter to you.  Otherwise, why are you even hanging out with them?

So remember…

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

— Zig Ziglar

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

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This quote often attributed to Nelson Mandela, but it’s actually from Ms. Williamson’s book, A Return to Love.  Here’s the complete paragraph:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

In Business:

I wrote earlier about all the me-too, copycat businesses out there.  Why are there so many? 

A lot of owners just don’t care.  Some think there’s safety in numbers, so they’ll just blend into the herd and settle for their tiny sliver of the pie.  Others simply don’t believe it’s in them to stand out, innovate, and be the best.

An innovative, successful small business is always dying to give out samples and demos.  Their attitude is, “The pubic’s never experienced anything like this before.  Once people try us, I know they’ll be hooked!”

If you know you’re selling the best vacuum cleaner ever, you can’t wait for the prospect to come in so you can throw a handful of dirt on the carpet.

If your cookies are the best, you love breaking some into pieces, hitting the streets and sharing them, because you get such a thrill seeing people’s faces light up with surprise at the best cookie they’ve ever tasted.

Whatever your product or service is, are you excited at the notion of giving out samples?  If not, get busy and innovate until you can’t wait for your prospects to sample the results.

In Life:

Why do we fear we are powerful beyond measure?  Because it puts all the control and responsibility for our lives in our own hands!

If you are all-powerful, you could have done whatever you wanted.  You could have been whatever you wanted.  It was all right there in the palm of your hands, there for the taking, and what did you do?  You settled… for this!

One of my favorite poems is My Wage, by Jessie B. Rittenhouse:

I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have gladly paid!

You may have settled in the past, but you don’t have to settle going forward.  Who you are right now is already enough.

So remember…

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

— Marianne Williamson

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

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I feel the need to do a quick rewrite for Mr. Swindoll here: “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I respond to it.”  You’ll see why below.

In Business:

I’ve started businesses where I thought I was going to serve one market, and it turned out the demand was actually in a completely different market.

Your business is 10% what you put out there, and 90% how you adjust to what your market tells you it wants.

In Life:

You can always rely on the great Steve Chandler to come up with a brilliant distinction.  He’s the reason I felt the need to rewrite the quote, substituting “respond” for “react.”

Steve points out that reacting to an event is a mindless, defensive, negative act on your part.  You’re not creating anything; you’re just deflecting, giving the control back to the person or event from which it came.

When you respond to something, it is a thoughtful, positive, creative act.  You retain the power and control.

I love playing pickleball.  It’s like tennis, but on a smaller court, and you play with a paddle instead of a racket.

When I’m reacting to a shot, I’m just mindlessly hitting the ball back.  My fingers are crossed in the hope it’ll go over and land somewhere, anywhere inbounds. 

When I’m responding to a shot, I’m selecting exactly what I want to do and precisely where I want to place the ball.  I am, quite literally, “calling the shots.”

Make a habit of noticing when you’re reacting and when you’re responding.  By being conscious and aware of the distinction, you’ll gain more power and control over the situations you find yourself in throughout the day.

So remember…

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

— Charles R. Swindoll

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